3 Psychologically Proven Tips To Get Out Of A Thought Slump
You were not born an overthinker.
“If you listen to any thought long enough, it becomes a part of your personal playlist.”
— Jon Acuff
I believe you are familiar with the French philosopher Rene Descartes’s well-known phrase: “Je pense, donc je suis” or as we all know it in English, I think, therefore I am.
Becoming aware of your existence through thinking is a gift in itself. It is amazing for awareness, problem-solving, creative process, introspection, and planning ahead.
The problem appears though when you are stuck thinking the same thought over and over again. Not only it doesn’t lead you anywhere but is making you feel stressed, anxious, and burdened.
As a recovering overthinker, I know how that feels. A few years back I used to spend hours, even days overthinking and dwelling on things that have happened or things that were about to come.
I used to imagine different scenarios of what I could have done better or how I could have told off a person that made me angry that day. I would spend precious time worrying about situations that have not yet occurred only to realize later on that my worries were blown out of proportion and plainly unfounded.
What is overthinking?
According to Berkely Wellbeing Institute, overthinking refers to the process of repetitive, unproductive thought. Research has differentiated between “rumination” about the past and present, and “worry” about the future.
When you think about the past, you are stuck in a could’ve-would’ve- should’ve thought pattern: I could have said that or I could have done that. Does that sound familiar?
Often times you lay in bed replaying every conversation or interaction from that day. Things you could have said to that person that made you angry, or a better decision you should have made. Even regrets at the choices you made months or even years ago start haunting you mercilessly late at night.
Then there’s worrying about the future. Perhaps worrying about a course you have tomorrow or having to go back to work on Monday. Worrying about your finances or health. About not having the love life you’ve imagined. About your children.
The problem with overthinking is that it doesn’t allow you to enjoy the now. It doesn't allow you to be fully present. Think of the last time you went down an overthinking spiral. Can you remember much from what was going on around you? What the people around you were doing or feeling? Most probably not because when you’re overthinking, you dissociate from the present moment. Your attention goes elsewhere.
Overthinking affects your decision making and sleeping patterns
When you obsess over a particular thought it affects decision-making. In a study by Annette van Randenborgh and her colleagues, they found that rumination negatively affected individuals’ decision-making processes. The more you overthink a situation, the more difficult it is to make a decision favorable to you.
It is also negatively impacting your sleep. Overthinkers tend to take a long time to fall asleep due to the incessant train of thoughts that gets out of control. According to the book Sleep and repetitive thought: the role of rumination and worry in sleep disturbance, overthinking can affect your sleep patterns, leading to insomnia and health issues.
So whether you are ruminating about the past or worrying about the future, you are stuck in a loop of negative and energy-draining thoughts with no resolution.
But here’s the thing: you were not born an overthinker. Let that sink in. Most of your thoughts and beliefs are a byproduct of social conditioning.
You were not born thinking you’re not good enough or worrying that your neighbor didn’t like you because he didn’t greet you that morning. You weren’t thinking you weren’t loveable or smart enough, nor were you anxious about the future. The only moment that mattered was the present one.
The good news though is that you can reprogram your preexisting thought patterns and get rid of the burdensome overthinking loop.
Here’s a 3 step guide to get you out of a thought slump:
- Don’t suppress your unwanted thoughts
“Beautiful things happen when you distance yourself from ugly thoughts.”
— Matshona Dhliwayo
Let’s do a short exercise. I’m going to ask you not to think about a white polar bear.
Whatever you do, just don’t think of a white polar bear!
Aha, caught you! You just thought of a white polar bear.
Don’t worry, you are not alone. This is what the participants in Harvard professor Daniel Wegner’s famous White Bear Experiment did as well. In the first group, Wegner asked students to verbalize their thoughts for 5 minutes while trying not to think of a white bear. In the second one, he asked them to think about the bear.
The results were astounding. He found that students who were told to suppress the idea of a white bear did worse than students who weren’t told to suppress their thoughts.
How to apply it
Whenever you catch yourself overthinking, don’t suppress it. The more you are trying to do so, the stronger the thoughts come back.
Instead, allow your thoughts to exist. First, become aware of when you're going down the overthinking spiral. Become the observer.
Then, whenever you catch yourself overthinking, set a timer of 10-15 minutes tops where you think solely about it.
Write down your thoughts on a piece of paper. Then burn it or throw it away.
2. Practice mindfulness
“If you want to conquer overthinking, bring your mind to the present moment and reconnect it with the immediate world.”
― Amit Ray
Mindfulness is a technique you can learn which involves making a special effort to notice what’s happening in the present moment (in your mind, body, and surroundings) — without judging anything.
Mindfulness has been proven to rewire your brain for calm and well-being and anchor you in the present.
In the NOW.
How to apply it
Detach yourself from your thoughts. That means that you are not identifying with them. If you are practicing meditation, you are probably familiar with this process.
Breathing techniques can help you calm the nervous system and soothe the mind.
Firstly, breathe from your abdomen, not your chest.
Then, find the best breathing technique for you. You can try alternate-nostril breathing (nadi sodhana) which involves blocking off one nostril at a time as you breathe through the other, alternating between nostrils in a regular pattern. Or the 4–7–8 breathing exercise, also called the relaxing breath, which acts as a natural tranquilizer for the nervous system.
Any kind of breathing technique that best suits you should work very well.
3. Change the story you tell yourself
“I have written 11 books but each time I think ‘Uh-oh, they’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on everybody, and they’re going to find me out.’”
— Maya Angelou
It’s estimated that a total of 70% of people suffer from impostor syndrome. According to Vanessa van Edwards, impostor syndrome is a psychological phenomenon in which you feel like you don’t deserve your accomplishments, you don’t belong, don’t deserve your success, or are “out of place. You are constantly worried others will expose you as a fraud.
Impostor syndrome can affect anyone. People like Michelle Obama, Neil Gaiman, Maya Angelou, and Tom Hanks have admitted to being the subject of impostor syndrome.
Fortunately, there are healthy ways you can use to deal with it and finally take this heavyweight off your chest.
How to apply it
Now that you’ve become aware of your thoughts and calmed down your mind through mindfulness, it’s time to realize what kind of story you’re telling yourself.
Most likely, your story is holding you back. This is something you have been telling yourself through your life, from childhood to adulthood. The chapters in your book have been written gradually, one day at a time. That’s why rewriting your story is not going to happen overnight. It will take time, patience, and practice.
You can start being kinder to yourself and using more positive and empowering affirmations. For example:
Instead of I am not good enough say I can handle this. I am capable. I’ve got this.
Instead of I should have said that or I should have done that say I did my best.
Instead of I can’t do this, what will others think of me switch to I am here to help others.
Helping others will alleviate the pressure you put on yourself. The pressure of certain self-imposed high standards which are the root cause of overthinking.
For instance, if you have to give a presentation, instead of telling yourself: I’m not good enough, switch to I am capable. I am here to pass on the information I’ve learned so that others can benefit from it as well.
Tell yourself a better story!
Takeaways
- Don’t suppress your negative thoughts. Instead, become an observer and allow them to be. Write them down, then throw away the paper or burn it.
- Practice mindfulness such as meditation or breathing techniques to calm down the nervous system.
- Change the story you tell yourself by identifying self-sabotaging patterns such as imposter syndrome. Become aware of what words you are using to tell your story and rewrite it.
I’ll leave you with one of my favorite quotes:
“Whatever you hold in your mind on a consistent basis is exactly what you will experience in your life.”
— Tony Robbins
So, gently pull yourself out of that thought slump and allow yourself to enjoy your present more. Even if your life at this moment might not look exactly how you wanted it, you have the power to choose better thoughts and therefore, a better life.
Choose those thoughts that contribute to your happiness and growth, and leave behind those that hinder you and hold you back.
If I did it, so can you!
Let me know in the comments below, what story do you tell yourself? And how do you get out of a thought slump?
Thank you for reading!
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